Absence of rant.

There is a void in my life now.

I’m not talking about last week’s events so much as I am talking about the absence of rant.

Even when I write something like the entry below, I feel more like a spectator witnessing something rather than actually being a participant in the event.

There are oh so many things to write about but, what do I really want to spend my time doing?

 A lot of the whole blogoverse is devoted to ‘the rant.’ Wer mit Ungeheuern kämpft, mag zusehn, dass er nicht dabei zum Ungeheuer wird. Und wenn du lange in einen Abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein. 

Getting caught up in the rant though takes you away from having the fun you need to have in life.

I’m pretty lucky, it doesn’t take a lot for me to enjoy the day. Thing is, I’ve come to realize it has more to do with the absence of rant than anything else. If I can manage somehow to keep myself from getting annoyed over stupid things, I am better off for it.

It sounds so simple but, man! Is it ever hard to do.

I still get annoyed but, I’m trying to let things go more easily rather than letting them fester inside of me.

See, the thing is outside of these sporadic dramas - which we all go through - I have to admit, life really isn’t that bad at all.

There’s lots to do, lots to keep me occupied and busy where the day goes by in the blink of an eye but, not too much to complain about. I’ve just got to figure out a way to keep up the momentum. I’m not saying I’m not still sad either (mainly because I do find myself getting weirdly emotional at some strange moments) but, again it is more along the line of...

When I started this back in January of 2007, life was undergoing a dramatic shift for me.

We were on the precipice of the Great Recession that was just around the corner but my long obligation had finally ended - I was no longer responsible for the care of an elderly parent.

Caring for a parent may be one of the toughest things and perhaps the most thankless task a person can take onto themselves. It’s draining, it’s challenging and it’s a constant battle. I did that for almost fifteen years, it was only very, very close to the end that there was any kind of acknowledgment. Actually thinking about it now, I got acknowledgement the very last time I saw the parent in question -  weird.

I don’t know if I made the right choice sometimes because I gave up a lot. Madame X was one of those things, she couldn’t take it after a time and I can’t say I blame her because as a child you can be used to parental abuse but if it’s not your parent you certainly don’t have to put up with it.

Anyway, as one can see from my regular posts rant has never really been absent from my life. I have moments though when it fades into the background and I am happier for them that can be sure but at the end of the day, I have only myself to blame for how much I let it consume me.